Not only are there statistically fewer men, but the dynamic of human engagement, and style of personal connection, has changed dramatically since we were dating in our 20’s.Also, a lifetime of love and loss has made many women distrustful and unwilling to get back into the dating game.The things we say and do mean much more than they lend us to believe.Seldom do men admit to their specific emotional needs but, in many ways, they want the same things.Even so, one could argue that these mainstream films reflect the desires of white America, or more to the point, white men, and not Black men, which up to this point is the only group of men I’ve dated.But with brothers I find, that they, too, have internalized a particular relationship to the body-type most associated with the mammy figure.Bette Davis once said that getting old is not for sissies.
Just as daily compliments and sweet kisses make us feel feminine and pretty, there are similar things we can do for our men to help validate their masculinity.
But the fact remains that I’m a short, dark-skinned, fat Black girl, with a natural.
I’m all those things in a culture that not only hates fat, and finds it repulsive, but also in a culture where fat dark-skinned women can only find roles in movies as maids.
Men are often proud of the women they love, so let him bask in showing you off.3. Waiting on your man lets him know he is special and you want to take care of him.
Whether you are visiting in-laws, attending a cookout or eating Chinese takeout at home, make a plate for the booskie—at least every once in a while.